An online rant about marital culture

I just posted this rant on a random wedding website that I was pursuing while researching wedding dresses, the writer of the blog post was praising David's Bridal and how mistaken everyone's opinion is on this particular store:

I am so happy to hear that you were able to find a lovely, trouble-free dress from DB. What happened to you is incredibly rare. I worked at DB for a year and it is not a coincidence that that is the year that my depression hit its strongest blow. Really what it comes down to is attitude. I had an awful management team and my coworkers where so competitive (DB employees are paid on commission) that no one talked or tried to be friendly. I could tell as soon as I met a customer if they were going to have a good experience or not.  More often than not I had to work with brides with the attitude that DB was junk/trailer trash/overpriced/money-mongers. I had so many people come in to "have fun" and try on dresses-not actually looking to buy, that was money and time out of my pocket. Oh, and they didn't pay commission until our earnings hit 200$ per hour. Then we could actually make minimum wage. Also, you didn't have to pay for alterations, you were lucky. The alteration specialists in our store didn't speak English-they also worked for commission. Alterations is where the unhappy brides developed and plotted litigation. Then again I would work with brides like you, who were easy to please, had an idea of what they wanted, a realistic budget, a realistic idea of bridal dress expectations, and actually wanted to buy a dress. Those were nice days. I feel bad for ranting at your article (which makes some excellent points) especially so long after it was published, but I am channeling a lot of fears for my own upcoming D.I.Y. wedding. My budget is $4,000. I might be able to get a nice dress for $500, but my family is fighting tooth and nail against this. They think I can borrow or rent a dress. This isn't an option in our culture. We need to change our cultural attitude towards marital expectations. It's not all about the dress, it's not all about the bride, in fact the only thing that should cost less than the dress are the shoes that match rather than the dress being the most expensive thing purchased for the wedding. Weddings in general should not cost as much as a nice car or a decent house. Weddings should represent how the couple wants to live their lives and throwing money at a short, one evening party where everyone comes to witness marital rites only represents how fleeting our respect is for marriage. That is why I am trying to suppress my worries about a dress and instead organize a week long meet and greet of friends and family. My marriage will be the union of three families (my and my fiance's family, and our friends) and I want them to be one big family and celebrate that, not just me and my man dressed nicely. 

I ran out of room on that other blog. I can't stop the rant, it must go on: 

The idea of marriage is so skewed in modernity. Many people go into a marriage not knowing why they are doing it. I feel that many Christians are still waiting until marriage and they get married,... well...,  for the nookie (that song is now stuck in my head, you're welcome). Some men (and women) may feel the need to express possession. Of course when asked, all will say that they will get married for love or as an expression of love. Never in the history of mankind has marriage been conducted for "love." Marriage is the exchange or combination of property and for the combination of resources. I will be upfront: I am agreeing to marry for the sweet insurance and property rights. Now I am not saying that I am a gold digger (but I ain't messin' with no broke bloke....I like that better than the 'n' word!), but I am saying that I love Z enough to not need this particular expression of love through marital rites to know that we will be together. The cultural and religious definitions of marriage have always been about property and joining families (read: peace treaties). The meaning of 'love' as we know it today is a modern construct. This doesn't mean that our ancestors did not feel love in the same way as we do now, but it does mean that they defined and reacted to it differently in their society. This is why affairs were tolerated more than they are today, because couples realized that marriage was a societal arrangement rather than a grand meshing of souls. 

In modern terms and concepts, I have been married to Z since I realized that I could not be happy without him and that happened in October of 2007. All this stuff that I am planning now is for the family and friends and Z. I am content as is (sans insurance).